Math Poetry

Oliver Knill
Modern math
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A perverse scheme of sheaves
chews on a stalk of stacks.
Is it etale or crystal?
We are all chained to a ringed
topos in Serres saga of gaga.
Remarks: Perverse sheaves exist, but they are neither perverse, nor sheaves. Stalks of sheaves exist, stacks are sheafes taking values in categories, stalk of stacks is a word creation, a ringed topos is a topos equipped with a choice of ring. "Gaga" refers to "Géometrie Algébrique et Géométrie Analytique" = "Algebraic geometry and analytic geometry", of Jean-Pierre Serre.
Mathematicians
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Dieudonne wrote
Grothendieck thought
Fermat guessed
Euler knew
Pythagoras believed
Hilbert conjectured
and Witten said
Remarks: Dieudonne wrote huge amount of mathematics ranging over huge amount of math, Grothendieck probably thought about math like nobody else before, Fermat guessed and conjectured, sometimes wrong. Pythagoras believed in natural numbers, Hilbert conjectured or posed lots of problems. And the phrase "Witten said ..." is a golden phrase, especially among string theorists.
Pop stars
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Elvis rule
Gaga cohomology
Eminem estimate
Elton multiplier
Sade  spectrum
Snoop conjecture
Sting principle
Dylan theorem
Miley number
Remarks. Cohomology is a bit strange at first, like Gaga, Miley knows to pull some numbers..
Under drugs
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Holy sheaves of schemes!
What stacks of etale crystals
did Grothendieck smoke
in Deligne's secret garden?
Poor Baki! Mon Dieu Donnee!
Remarks. Grothendieck was one of the most creative mathematicians ever. Some of his creations appear so strange at first that they appear to have been created with crystal meth involved (for which however there is no evidence). But there is crystalline cohomology and etale cohomology... Pierre Deligne is a student of Grothendieck. "Poor Baki" refers to Bourbaki (an anonymous group of Mathematicians) Dieu Donnee to Jean Dieudonne, "Dieu" is "god" in French so that Mon Dieu Donnee means "my Dieudonne" or "my god,... ". The phrase "Deligne's secret garden" is from an article of Luc Illusie who reports that Deligne loves gardening.
Number one
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e^(ix)=cosx+i sinx
sum n^-2=pi^2/6
exp(iPi)+1=0
v-e+f=chi
Euler=
No1
Remarks. The first four formulas are all due to Euler and belong to the most famous formulas in mathematics Making Euler the number one mathematician who ever lived.
Acronyms (2014)
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ODE
PDE
KdV
3-D
P=NP
QED
Remark. ODE=Ordinary differential equation, PDE=Partial differential equation, KdV=Korteveg de Vries equation, QED= Quod erad demonstrandum.
Conjectures  (2014)
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Hilbert's tent
Navier stakes
Even perfect
Hodge fudge
Dry Swinnerton
Riemann hype
Sexy twins
Goldbach flow
Remark: these are all open conjectures. Hilbert's tenth is still open over the rationals, the Navier Stokes, Hodge, Birch Swinnerton-Dyer, Riemann problems are Millenium problems. The Goldbach conjecture and the question about even perfect numbers or existence of prime twins or sexy primes are open too. Goldbach refers to the German "Bach", meaning creek.
Genius
-------
Galois   Cigar
Cantor   Panter
Goedel   Knoedel
Nash     Flash
Noether  Otter
Perelman Peril
Bourbaki Souvlaki
Remark: more like associations like Galois Gauloise cigarettes or rimes.
Pro Memoria
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0=1+e^i pi
----------
It is naughty,
if one more fly
eats up my pie!
Remark: this identity is always considered the most important identity in mathematics as it combines 0,1,e,i, Pi.
Row reduction
--------------
Row Row Row Reduce
Redundant columns we produce
swap and scale the rows we must
subtracting rows is lust and frust
Remark: summarizes, what Row reduction is. Made for a review. Song. Of course, heavily leaning on Row, Row, row your boat!.
Determinants
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Laplace, Row Reduce, 
Partitions, Triangular, 
Eigenvectors, Eigenvalues, 
Patterns you can use! 
Remark: summarizes all the methods which can be used to find determinants. For a 21b review: Song
Sarrus rule
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a e s
o i u
d t m 

Mia Deo Sot
Tuo Dis Emo
Remark: to remember a rule for computing determinants of 3x3 matrices. Found using computer search. Song (part 2)
What does the matrix say?
-------------------------

Rotation goes woof, 
Translation goes meow.
Reflections goes tweet, 
and ShearKernel goes moo. 
Image goes croak, 
and the Row reduce goes toot.
Columns say quack 
and Rows go blurb, 
and Basis goes ow, ow, ow.
But there's one sound, 
that no one knows ...
What does the Matrix say?
Remark: this was a modification of the iconic "What does the fox say?" song by Ylvis..
O PDE !
--------

"Oh PDE, Oh PDE, solved easily with Fouriee!
For heat use ee to the minus n2 tee.
For wave, pick coosine n of tee.
Oh PDE, Oh PDE, solved easilee with Fouriee!
With velocitee, sin n of tee you see.
Mix X and tee and you will have to pee ...
Oh PDE, Oh PDE, solved painfully with penalty.
Oh PDE, Oh PDE, solved easilee with Fouriee"!
Remarks: A piano performance or part of a slide show. The melody starts like O Tannenbaum a Christmas song which is based on a folk song from the area of Schlesien (now mostly Poland). In that song, the evergreen fir tree is praised as "faithful", contrasting to other trees associated to faithless lovers. This is fitting, as Fourier theory is an "evergreen".
Fibonacci Rabbits
-----------------

In the wonderful month of Mai 
Two rabbits went to play 
A third rabbit saw the day 
Then five and eight - yuhei! 

In the wonderful month of June 
Thirteen rabbits grew to 21 soon 
They sang and jumped and had more sex 
Now, they all have an Oedipus complex!
Remarks.See The song. was part of a review for Math 21b.
Hieroglyphs      2010
-----------------

The priest     1000000
holds a frog    100000
in his finger.   10000
The flower fears  1000
that the monkey    100
is bending          10
its stem.            1
This is a memnonic to learn the Egyptian number system. See Lecture 2: around 10:30
Obscenities (2014)
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It is well known
It is trivial
Obviously
Left to the reader
Screw you
Pedagogical disqualification  (Jan 2017)
-----------------------------

This talk is accessible to a general audience:
"Let X be an Artin stack on an Etal site"
Conclusions   (2014)
--------------------

If A implies B
and B implies A
then A implies A
Ergo
If A does not imply B
and B does not imply A
then A does not imply A
Bingo
Locaux
------

The folloing text is by Luc Illusie,
It just has been discovered as poetry
by Oliver Knill:

"Les schemas strictement locaux
les spectres d'anneaux locaux
strictement henseliens
sont en effet les objets locaux
de la topologie etale
de meme que les schemas locaux
les spectres d'anneaux locaux
sont les objets locaux
de la topologie de Zariski
Ils se comportent topologiquement
comme des 'boules de Milnor'"
Hip Hop Review (PDE's, Extremization, Chain rule, integration) 2017
-------------------------------------------------------------------

PDE rich. You can't stuck with me, if you wanted to:
These expensive, these is rare Laplace, these is bloody heat
Hit the wave, I can get them both, I don't wanna choose
and I'm quick, cut a function off, so don't get comfortable, look!
I don't derive now, I make money moves.

If you'r a saddle, you get popped, you are maxim, you are opt.
Don't you Nabla around my way, you can't Lagrange around my block.
And I just checked my accounts, turns out, I'm max, I'm sad, I'm min.
I put my hand around my D, I bet your D, his D, her D.

I say I let the chain rule go, this hit is hot like a stove.
My regions glitter as gold, tell the order play her role.
I just drove along a curve, I just came up in a nerve.
I need to fill up my x, no I need to fill up my y.

I need to let everybody know that none of their shapes is safe.
I go to polar and break, only the r can relate.
I used to live one D, now it's a crib with a square.
Regions got charms, like butterfly farms.
Had to let the functions go, just in case those cos forgot.
I just run and switch around another integration bound.
See the Video: I'm Boss, I make body moves, or the extended version.
I Love to row reduce (spring 2018)
----------------------------------
See Youtube 
for first review in Math 21b). 

Twenty one!

Working for the exam at night, making myself crazy
Out of my mind, out of my mind!
Row reduced and worked it out, hoping it would save me
Too many times, too many times
My column, it makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else
But my row it does not love me, so I tell myself

----------------  REFRAIN  ---------------------------
One: Don't take the leading ones
Zero's only calling because it is alone
Two: if you don't scale it in
You have to kick it back again
Three: don't subtract more than one
You will wake up with a zero in the morning
And If you are done with it, YOU ain't getting over it
I love to row reduce (x 6)
------------------------------------------------------

I keep pushing forwards, but it keeps pulling me backwards
Nowhere to turn, Nowhere to turn
Now, I'm stepping back from it, I finally see the pattern!
I never learn, I never learn
But the row, it does not love me, so I tell myself
I do, I do, I do

----------------  REFRAIN  ---------------------------

Practice makes perfect
I'm still try to learn it by heart
Eat, sleep, and breathe it
Rehearse and repeat it, all night

----------------  REFRAIN  ---------------------------

You will get over it!

QR Dream 
---------
(See this clip 
for second review in Math 21b.)

Last night, I had this dream about QR
In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you
There is nothing wrong with just a little bit of fun
We were Gram Schmidting all night long
Oh, I don't know what to do
Because this might need a clue
I hope that this product comes true
Remark. This was for an exam review and was Modified from part of "Daft Punk by Pentatonix:
Last night, I had this dream about you
In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you
There is nothing wrong with just a little bit of fun
We were dancing all night long
Oh, I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I hope this dream comes true

No Shears to try!
-----------------
(See this clip
for final review in Math 21b) modified from the most recent Ariana
Grande hit:  

21 B, is all right!
Right now, I want to find a way
to find a basis for Fourier
I ain't got no shears left to try
So I'm rotating it up, 
reflecting it up

Can't stop now, can't find 
those roots somehow
Shut them out.

Right now, I want a determinate
I want to row reduce all the time.
I got no patters left to try.
So I'm crossing it up, 
partition it up
Laplace it up, yea, 
and transpose it up.