Modern math ----------- A perverse scheme of sheaves chews on a stalk of stacks. Is it etale or crystal? We are all chained to a ringed topos in Serres saga of gaga.

Mathematicians -------------- Dieudonne wrote Grothendieck thought Fermat guessed Euler knew Pythagoras believed Hilbert conjectured and Witten said

Pop stars ------------ Elvis rule Gaga cohomology Eminem estimate Elton multiplier Sade spectrum Snoop conjecture Sting principle Dylan theorem Miley number

Under drugs ----------- Holy sheaves of schemes! What stacks of etale crystals did Grothendieck smoke in Deligne's secret garden? Poor Baki! Mon Dieu Donnee!

Number one ----------- e^(ix)=cosx+i sinx sum n^-2=pi^2/6 exp(iPi)+1=0 v-e+f=chi Euler= No1

Acronyms (2014) --------------- ODE PDE KdV 3-D P=NP QED

Conjectures (2014) ------------------- Hilbert's tent Navier stakes Even perfect Hodge fudge Dry Swinnerton Riemann hype Sexy twins Goldbach flow

Genius ------- Galois Cigar Cantor Panter Goedel Knoedel Nash Flash Noether Otter Perelman Peril Bourbaki Souvlaki

Pro Memoria ----------- 0=1+e^i pi ---------- It is naughty, if one more fly eats up my pie!

Row reduction -------------- Row Row Row Reduce Redundant columns we produce swap and scale the rows we must subtracting rows is lust and frust

Determinants ------------ Laplace, Row Reduce, Partitions, Triangular, Eigenvectors, Eigenvalues, Patterns you can use!

Sarrus rule ----------- a e s o i u d t m Mia Deo Sot Tuo Dis Emo

What does the matrix say? -------------------------Rotationgoes woof,Translationgoes meow.Reflectionsgoes tweet, andShearKernelgoes moo.Imagegoes croak, and theRowreduce goes toot.Columnssay quack andRowsgo blurb, andBasisgoes ow, ow, ow. But there's one sound, that no one knows ... What does theMatrixsay?

O PDE ! -------- "Oh PDE, Oh PDE, solved easily with Fouriee! For heat use ee to the minus n^{2}tee. For wave, pick coosine n of tee. Oh PDE, Oh PDE, solved easilee with Fouriee! With velocitee, sin n of tee you see. Mix X and tee and you will have to pee ... Oh PDE, Oh PDE, solved painfully with penalty. Oh PDE, Oh PDE, solved easilee with Fouriee"!

Fibonacci Rabbits ----------------- In the wonderful month of Mai Two rabbits went to play A third rabbit saw the day Then five and eight - yuhei! In the wonderful month of June Thirteen rabbits grew to 21 soon They sang and jumped and had more sex Now, they all have an Oedipus complex!

Hieroglyphs 2010 ----------------- The priest 1000000 holds a frog 100000 in his finger. 10000 The flower fears 1000 that the monkey 100 is bending 10 its stem. 1

Obscenities (2014) ----------- It is well known It is trivial Obviously Left to the reader Screw you

Pedagogical disqualification (Jan 2017) ----------------------------- This talk is accessible to a general audience: "Let X be an Artin stack on an Etal site"

Conclusions (2014) -------------------- If A implies B and B implies A then A implies A Ergo If A does not imply B and B does not imply A then A does not imply A Bingo

Locaux ------ The folloing text is by Luc Illusie, It just has been discovered as poetry by Oliver Knill: "Les schemas strictement locaux les spectres d'anneaux locaux strictement henseliens sont en effet les objets locaux de la topologie etale de meme que les schemas locaux les spectres d'anneaux locaux sont les objets locaux de la topologie de Zariski Ils se comportent topologiquement comme des 'boules de Milnor'"

Hip Hop Review (PDE's, Extremization, Chain rule, integration) 2017 ------------------------------------------------------------------- PDE rich. You can't stuck with me, if you wanted to: These expensive, these is rare Laplace, these is bloody heat Hit the wave, I can get them both, I don't wanna choose and I'm quick, cut a function off, so don't get comfortable, look! I don't derive now, I make money moves. If you'r a saddle, you get popped, you are maxim, you are opt. Don't you Nabla around my way, you can't Lagrange around my block. And I just checked my accounts, turns out, I'm max, I'm sad, I'm min. I put my hand around my D, I bet your D, his D, her D. I say I let the chain rule go, this hit is hot like a stove. My regions glitter as gold, tell the order play her role. I just drove along a curve, I just came up in a nerve. I need to fill up my x, no I need to fill up my y. I need to let everybody know that none of their shapes is safe. I go to polar and break, only the r can relate. I used to live one D, now it's a crib with a square. Regions got charms, like butterfly farms. Had to let the functions go, just in case those cos forgot. I just run and switch around another integration bound.See the Video: I'm Boss, I make body moves, or the extended version.

I Love to row reduce (spring 2018) ---------------------------------- See Youtube for first review in Math 21b).Twenty one! Working for the exam at night, making myself crazy Out of my mind, out of my mind! Row reduced and worked it out, hoping it would save me Too many times, too many times My column, it makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else But my row it does not love me, so I tell myself ---------------- REFRAIN --------------------------- One: Don't take the leading ones Zero's only calling because it is alone Two: if you don't scale it in You have to kick it back again Three: don't subtract more than one You will wake up with a zero in the morning And If you are done with it, YOU ain't getting over it I love to row reduce (x 6) ------------------------------------------------------ I keep pushing forwards, but it keeps pulling me backwards Nowhere to turn, Nowhere to turn Now, I'm stepping back from it, I finally see the pattern! I never learn, I never learn But the row, it does not love me, so I tell myself I do, I do, I do ---------------- REFRAIN --------------------------- Practice makes perfect I'm still try to learn it by heart Eat, sleep, and breathe it Rehearse and repeat it, all night ---------------- REFRAIN --------------------------- You will get over it!

QR Dream --------- (See this clip for second review in Math 21b.) Last night, I had this dream about QR In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you There is nothing wrong with just a little bit of fun We were Gram Schmidting all night long Oh, I don't know what to do Because this might need a clue I hope that this product comes true

Last night, I had this dream about you In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you There is nothing wrong with just a little bit of fun We were dancing all night long Oh, I don't know what to do About this dream and you I hope this dream comes true

No Shears to try! ----------------- (See this clip for final review in Math 21b) modified from the most recent Ariana Grande hit: 21 B, is all right! Right now, I want to find a way to find a basis for Fourier I ain't got no shears left to try So I'm rotating it up, reflecting it up Can't stop now, can't find those roots somehow Shut them out. Right now, I want a determinate I want to row reduce all the time. I got no patters left to try. So I'm crossing it up, partition it up Laplace it up, yea, and transpose it up.